The SB’s find the Blog!

Wow. Not only has someone looked at the Blog, but it appears to be an angry SB!

I would first like to thank you for your contribution, it is exactly what was expected of you. Good work.

Think i might kick start this thing again soon. I forgot that it was fun…

Return from the domain of the sweaty backpacker

Phew! What a couple of weeks. I’ve just returned from a whistle stop tour of various Costa Rican tourist spots, giving me ample opportunity to observe the habits of a variety of sweaty backpackers. One thing I have noticed about Costa Rica’s SBs are that they are predominantly from the US. Infact, I met a number of SBs with distinctly Eastern European / Israeli accents who proudly announced that they were from New Jersey / Seattle / California. This is a phenomenon that I struggled to get my head around, as often they made no reference whatsoever to their country of origin and maintained firmly that they were from the US of A, despite the fact that there was obviously a little bit more to the story. I understand that people can adopt citizenship in the US, but why hide where your from originally. Is the US that great that you’d rather forget your roots and hide them from others? (In some cases yes, but surely not with this regularity).

Anyway, when I became engaged in the occasional conversation, I tried my hardest to stay away from the ‘hot topic’ of ‘çompetitive country hopping’ (see above) and instead attempted to steer the conversations towards my own comfort zones (football, monkeys etc). This failed miserably as I struggled in my task. I gave up quickly and resigned myself to reading in solitary confinement.

Something I really enjoyed was sitting outside a SB hostel in Santa Elena, where I spied something carved into the floor. It simply read ‘Travel saved my life’. Please…

Whinging

Its come to my attention that I may just be whinging alot at the moment on this thing, so i’m not gonna moan today but instead say something positive about the sweaty backpackers.

It is true that sometimes you can meet some very nice people when hanging around sweaty backpackers, and not everything that i’ve said applies to all of them. In Panama last month, I met a guy from Madrid (filthy Real supporter), who was quite happy to sit down and indulge me in a lengthy conversation about football (his name was Alex - I asked him). I don’t speak much more spanish than ‘una cerveza por favor’ and ‘donde esta el bano’, but he was more than willing to chatter away with me in English (which is more than I can say for the hippy sweaty backpacker who was sat near us who looked at me in utter disgust when informed that I didn’t speak any Spanish - we ain’t all perfect love!). That was a good experience with a sweaty backpacker although it is kind of cheating. He looked and smelled like a sweaty backpacker, but really he had a job in Panama city and was just taking a week’s holiday as I was. We’ll still count it tho.

The clothing situation

Now, my experience of living in the natural habitat of the sweaty backpacker is so far limited to a couple of hostels in Costa Rica and one in Panama, so alot of what I’m saying is based on minimal experience. However, I’ve met a few and seen a few more from afar and I’m really quite confused. From what I can tell, the average sweaty backpacker is late teens / early twenties, middle class, European/Australian/North American, from a fairly afluent background. Why oh why do they insist on dressing themselves in trampy clothes?

I’m not exactly a fashion guru (although I do a mean fancy dress outfit), so I may not be qualified to comment on other people’s clothing choices, but bollocks to it, i’ll do it anyway. Dirt and sweat seem to be the main components of each article of clothing, cleverly masking some form of loose fitting ‘earthy coloured’ hemp garment. Vests are popular, tie dye seems to never have died, sandals are rife (at least their not wearing crocs) and trousers never seem quite long enough. I don’t get it, these people have enough money to fund a trip around the world, but their uniform suggests poverty. Can’t you splash out a little bit more on another 6 pairs on underpants so you’ve at least got one for each day of the week?

All this confused me, until I went to an arts festival in San Jose yesterday. There were stalls lining Sabana park selling all sorts of touristy crap as per usual and of course the sweaty backpacker jewelery stands. What interested me (though only mildly) was the sweat backpacker clothing stalls. They’re as expensive as normal clothes shops! It appears that you have to pay through the nose to look like a sweaty backpacker (pre dirtied and sweated clothing at extra cost). I couldn’t believe it. Obviously the sweaty backpackers are spending their money on clothing, their just spending it on shit clothing.

Like many things, this is probably a trend that I just don’t get. They seem to pass me by without me ever really having time to catch on (or sometimes even notice). But it does seem a little bit crazy to spend all that money just to look like a tramp. Is it just me? Let me know…

Competitive country hopping

When sweaty backpackers meet others of their kind in thier main habitat - the hostel, the initial line of questioning is extremely different to that of other social groups. Where most assemblies of like minded individuals will begin with introductions by name, sweaty backpackers immediately enter into ‘battles’ regarding thier respective travel itineraries. “So, how long have you been in…..?” is enough to begin a long and boring description of how they’ve made thier way from nepal to their current location via several hostel dormitories, and which countries they’re going to visit on thier way back to the US with only $10 and a phonecard to thier name.

This can be an irritating experience, especially when your reply to the sweaty backpacker’s eventual question about your ’spiritual journey to discover yourself’ is a simple ‘we’re just staying in Costa Rica’. The ensuing tirade of abuse about whatever country your in and how terribly expensive it is compared to  every country they previously mentioned is unbearable. I refuse to sit across the table from some hippy telling me that thier life is so much better than mine because they’ve been to a hundred hostels that are even more cockroach ridden than the one we’re sat in.

If i pay an extra 5 quid in order to get a hot shower, clean kitchen, bed sheets without suspicious stains and a room of my own away from the sweaty backpackers - who’s the idiot? The guy with the dreadlocks in his armpits wearing trousers made of hemp and smoking his mates toenail clippings, thats who.

Welcome to ‘I hate sweaty backpackers’

Welcome, welcome. Having come across this blog, I guess your one of two types of people. Either you are someone who hates sweaty backpackers, or you are a sweaty backpacker who is probably going to be very offended (i didn’t ask you to read this).Anyway, first confession is that I am dangerously close to becoming a sweaty backpacker. I’m an English teacher living in Costa Rica and I have recently quit my job in order to head back to blighty. Over the next couple of months, I’m going to enter the domain of the sweaty backpacker in order to stretch the pennies that I earned all the way into July.

The second confession is that I hate a lot of things (with good reason to might I add), and will probably include many of them in this blog (if i can be bothered continuing it - I lack commitment). So although sweaty backpackers will probably get really upset at this and whinge all about it to their sweaty backpacker mates in thier sweaty backpacker hostels over a copy of lonely planet, its highly likely that you’ll probably get offended at some point too. Thats life!

Anyway, this post is just to give you a taster (i’m tired of typing already - i told you, no commitment). Gradually as I meet more sweaty backpackers and they tell me their highly uninteresting stories about ‘great guys’ they hung out with at a hostel in Peru while smoking ‘the kind of weed that gives you a high that people who stay in Britain/US/anywhere that you happen to be from will never experience’, I’ll fill you in on what is making me want to do some backpacker slapping.

Anyway, i’m off to stick my nose in lonely planet……..